


William, Papa Ty's sick

by Maisie_top_trash



Series: Unseen - Fear Will Lose [16]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Hallucinations, M/M, Mental Illness, OCD, Panic Attacks, Recovery, Schizoaffective Disorder, Schizophrenia, family life, mental health
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-12
Updated: 2016-12-12
Packaged: 2018-09-08 03:52:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8829412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maisie_top_trash/pseuds/Maisie_top_trash
Summary: Unseen Fear Will Lose is a series of single chapter stories showing unseen scenes from the same universe as my main story, Fear Will Lose. In order to fully enjoy these extra bits, I recommend you go and read that first.Fear Will LoseThis extract is written from William's POV when he is 12 years old. It tells the tale of the hallucination he witnessed Tyler having which is referenced in Worth A Thousand Words. This takes place before that installment but after When The First Cup of Coffee...





	

"Dre, Dre I dare you to go and knock on Mrs Dancy's door and run away,"  
"What?! No way,"  
"Such a wimp,"  
"You're a wimp, wimpy William," Dre retaliated, veering towards the 12 year old on his bike before suddenly pulling back up at the last moment.  
"You're the one who won't do it! She's like 90, what's she gonna do?" William laughed to his best mate.  
"I'll do it if you do it," Dre decided.  
"Go on then," he nodded, then they both jumped off their bikes and stashed them behind the elderly woman's hedge. William lead the way down her path, Dre following just behind with an anxious giggle. The older of the two turned round to shush him, struggling to stifle his own laughter. Once they reached the door, William banged the knocker three times and Dre pressed the bell twice before both sprinting off back down the path. Before they had reached the end, the woman opened the door and began yelling at them.

"William Barrick! Andre Scribner! I know that's you!" She yelled, but they were already on their bikes and hurtling towards William's house.

Finally they arrived at his gate and burst into hysterics as they climbed off and let them crash to the ground.  
"Hahaha did you see her face? That stupid mask?!" William laughed, clutching his stomach.  
"She looked like an alien!" Dre gasped between fits of laughter.  
"Oh my god we have to do that again tomorrow,"  
"Yeah!"

"You wanna come to my house now? We can watch a horror movie again," William offered.  
"My mom said I'm not allowed to watch any scary movies after last time. You're so lucky you don't have a mom,"  
"I know right! Tyler let's me get away with anything, like I was skateboarding down the hall yesterday and he didn't even shout at me."  
"No fair."  
"You wanna play Pokemon?"  
"I gotta go home, homework to do, but see you tomorrow?" Dre told him.  
"It's just homework, who cares?"  
"Mom's gonna ground me if I get another detention."  
"Okay," William nodded. "Handshake?"  
"Handshake," his friend agreed, then they proceeded to complete the complex 17 part greeting they had come up with.

"See you tomorrow Will,"  
"Bye," William waved as Dre began to cycle to his own house. He picked up his bike from the sidewalk and began to walk it to the porch before dumping it against a pile of logs, then pushed the door open and dumped his backpack inside.

"Pop! I'm home from school!"

William may have been a short 12 year old boy who hadn't gone through puberty, but he had the appetite of a wolf so immediately made his way into the kitchen. He was so motivated by hunger that he didn't even notice the state the room was in as he strode over the broken plate and opened the fridge. It was only once he began scanning the shelves that he thought back to the mess, and turned to face it. Alongside the smashed plate were a dozen pieces of scattered cutlery, another smashed bowl, and several broken glasses.

"Tyler! Isabel made a big mess!" He called out to his stepdad as he inspected the devastation his sister had caused all over the floor. Whilst he carefully walked around the shards, trying to work out what happened, the house phone began to ring.

"Tyler! Tyler the phone!" William called out before sighing annoyed and marching to the base, answering to an unknown number.  
"Hello?"  
"Hi, am I speaking to Mr Barrick?"  
"No, he's at work, can I take a message?" William replied like he had been taught.  
"This is Mrs Andrews, I work at Riverside elementary, I'm calling regarding Isabel Barrick-Joseph. Nobody has come to collect her. She's waiting in the office with me, but will somebody be coming along to get her soon?"  
"Oh, um, sorry yeah, tell her Pop will be there soon."  
"Okay thank you. Come through the main entrance, see you soon." The woman said, then hung up.

"Pop! You forgot to pick up Issy!" He yelled out angrily, worried about his sister and what had happened in the kitchen, and getting increasingly annoyed at his stepdad for ignoring him. With an angry grunt, he shoved the phone back into its holder and stormed towards the living room.

Scowl firmly embedded into his expression, he pushed the door open and looked around at the couches and found them empty, then slammed the door shut again and stomped up the stairs.

"Tyler!" William groaned exasperated once he finally found his stepdad, sat on the floor beside his bed. "Tyler you have to go and get Isa- woah, are you okay?" He stopped as he walked round and saw his stepdad crying.  
"Leave me alone!" Tyler screamed, scaring William.  
"Sorry!" He squeaked, running out of the room and into the hall.

William pressed his back against the wall as his heart raced and he breathed heavily. He had no idea what was happening or what to do, he just wanted his dad, his real dad. Just when he felt like running to hide in his bedroom, Tyler staggered out of the bedroom sobbing.

"Go away Josh!" Tyler screamed as he ignored William and paced across the hall and into the bathroom. He slammed the door shut after him and William jumped then burst into tears. Not only did the noise scare him, but Tyler scared him too. Tyler was scaring him and he didn't know what to do. He wanted his dad.

William heard Tyler scream in the bathroom and he slid down the wall terrified, only fumbling for his phone when it fell out of his pocket. With tear blurred vision he opened up his contact list and pressed his dad's name, then shakily held it up to his ear as Tyler screamed again.

"Hi, this is Todd Barrick, I'm currently unable to take your call. Please leave your-" the voicemail began and William hung up frustrated and dropped the phone to the carpet beside him. He could hear Tyler smashing things in the bathroom and jumped at every crash, he cried harder and realised that he must have smashed the kitchen to. He didn't know what was happening or what to do, he wanted his dad.

Between deep sobs he picked his phone back up and managed to shakily scroll through the contacts, not knowing who to call. Eventually he saw Nanny Kelly and decided she would be able to help him, so tapped the green phone icon and waited for her to answer, tears dampening the screen as he pressed it against his cheek.

"Hi William, I was just about to call you actually sweetheart, how was school today?" His nan asked and he sobbed harder, relieved to hear her voice but flinching at each smash from across the hall.  
"Na-nny Ke-e-lly,"  
"Oh sweetie, are you crying? Is something the matter?"  
"Ty-Ty-ler," he wept.  
"Did he snap at you about leaving your bike on the porch again?"  
"No-o, he, he,"  
"Deep breaths sweetheart, I can't understand what you're saying." She soothed him softly.  
"He's rea-really ang-ry and, and, I don't kn-know why,"  
"Okay I'm listening William, but I need you to tell me more. Is he crying?"  
"Ye-es,"  
"Shouting to nobody?"  
"Ye-eah,"  
"Right William, Nanny and Grandpa are going to come to your house straight away and calm Pop down okay? We're going to the car right now, don't worry cupcake, we're coming,"

"I-I'm sc-scared,"  
"I'll stay on the line and I'll keep talking to you I promise, but listen, is Pop hurting himself at all?"  
"I, I don't know, I I, he, um, he broke st-uff,"  
"He smashed things?"  
"Still, still no-w he is,"  
"William, don't worry you don't need to be afraid, but what I need you to do is take Isabel and go and sit in your bedroom together. Stay out of Tyler's way whilst he's angry please sweetheart."  
"Is, is, is he go-ing to hu-rt me?" William asked with a whole new flurry of tears.  
"No no, you don't need to be scared William. If he's breaking things then I don't want you or Isabel to hurt your little feet standing on any sharp things, that's all, okay?" Kelly lied but William tried his best to believe her.  
"Issy's not, not he-re,"  
"Where is she cupcake?"  
"At, sch-ool,"  
"Oh did silly Tyler forget to pick her up?"  
"Yeah,"  
"Okay, Grandpa is going to call Uncle Zack and get him to collect her, don't worry sweetheart, she'll be okay."  
"Tha-a-nk you,"

"William, are you in your bedroom yet?"  
"No-o,"  
"Okay handsome, I need you to go and sit on your bed please."  
"Nanny K-Kelly," William sobbed as he shakily stood up and walked to his bedroom, climbing onto his bed and under his covers. He curled up and hugged his knees to his chest as he laid on his side, phone still pressed to his ear and screams and smashes still coming from the hall.

"Will sweetie, Nanny and Grandpa are almost there I promise, it's all going to be okay."  
"I'm scared," he whispered.  
"Okay handsome, I need you to tell me what happened at school today. What lessons did you have?"  
"Uh, I, I had ma-ath,"  
"With Mrs Chandler? You like her, don't you honey?"  
"Yeh,"  
"And what was after math?"  
"Hi,history," he hiccuped.  
"What topic are you doing at the moment William?"  
"Lew-is and a-and Clark expedition,"  
"Is it fun?"  
"Yeh,"  
"What was after history?"  
"French," William sniffled.  
"Tu aime le français?"  
  
William was about the reply when suddenly his door swung open and he jumped in fright, shaking under the the sheets. He didn't have to peek to know that it was Tyler, but he did anyway.  
"No no no no no, no that's not true!" Tyler exclaimed, shaking his head with his hands gripping the back of his neck and tears coating his cheeks. William watched from under his sheets, frozen in terror, as the man paced to the other side of his bedroom and sat down on the floor against his wardrobe.

"William?" Kelly said, but he was too scared to open his mouth. He simply watched as Tyler tucked his own legs up against his chest and banged the back of his head against the wardrobe door, eyes squeezed closed. His nails dug deep into the thick carpet and he gripped it and clawed it and tugged it aggressively.

"No no no no, leave him alone!" Tyler whispered angrily.  
"William? Talk to me sweetheart," his nan told him, but William let the phone slip from his ear as he watched his stepdad break down in the corner.

"Pop?" William called out shakily, sitting up on his bed and wiping away his tears. "Pop, are, are you okay?" He asked, but Tyler didn't seem to hear him. He continued to bash his head, shaking the whole wardrobe unit, and cry.  
"Please please please Josh," Tyler sobbed.  
"Pop? Pop Josh died," William whispered, his voice cracking as he watched.  
"Josh, Josh no,"  
"Tyler, it's not Josh, it's William, I'm William," he explained through scared shakes.

"Tyler please don't cry," William said as his stepdad sobbed into his hands. He nervously climbed off the bed and crouched down on the floor about 2 metres away from him. "Pop, do you, do you want a hug?"  
"William! Nanny Kelly and Grandpa are here!" He heard Kelly yell, and he instantly stood up and sprinted out of his bedroom, running straight into the hall and straight into his nan's open arms.

"Shh, shhshh it's okay William, it's okay, Nanny's here," she rocked him gently as he sobbed again.

 

 

  
"Squirt, you wanna come with me?" Todd asked gently, sticking his head round the corner of his son's door. William put down his phone, plugged it into charge, then followed his dad into his room. He sat down on the side of the double bed already wearing his pyjamas, waiting as Todd quickly changed out of his suit pants and shirt and into an old tee. After that he walked over to his bed and laid down, and William copied him.

"It's just us two, okay? Uncle Zack dropped Isabel off but she was tired out from playing with Ben so she's gone straight to sleep, and Zack and Ben have gone back home to Auntie Tatum. Then Pop is staying with Nanny and Grandpa tonight. He might come back tomorrow or he might need a little bit longer, but for now it's just us okay?"  
"Okay," William nodded against the pillow.

"William, what do you think happened to Pop today?"  
"I don't know,"  
"Take a guess, it doesn't matter if it's wrong."  
"He was missing Josh,"  
"Yeah I think he probably was Will, I think he misses Josh everyday. But today was a bit different wasn't it? Bit scary?"  
"Yeh,"  
"You know how parts of our bodies get sick sometimes, like when you get a stomach ache or a sore throat. Sometimes a person's brain can get very sick and the sickness can cause a person to feel badly inside. It also makes a person's thoughts get all jumbled and mixed up, so they can't think clearly. These illnesses have names, such as schizophrenia."  
"Pop has schizophrenia?"  
"Something very close, it's called schizoaffective disorder."  
"Oh,"

"Do you remember Hector?"  
"My old imaginary friend."  
"Yeah that's right," Todd nodded. "Tyler has imaginary friends sometimes too, that's what his schizoaffective disorder does to him. They're not real but they're really nasty to him, that's why he gets really scared and upset."  
"Oh,"  
"So it's not your fault if he got angry with you, it's not your fault William. It's nobody's fault, okay?"  
"Okay," William said, and Todd reached across and rubbed his arm supportively.

"Now you don't need to be scared William, he's still Tyler, he's still your pop, he's just a bit poorly."  
"Is he going to get better?"  
"You know how you have asthma?"  
"Yeah,"  
"You don't have attacks all the time, but it's still there so you still need to have your preventer inhaler in the morning and you need to be careful with some things. It's the same with Tyler. It's not going to go away completely, but his attacks only happen very very occasionally. He takes his medicine and it helps, but it can't be cured. Does that make sense?"  
"Yeah," William nodded, mind racing.

"Dad?"  
"Yeah,"  
"Is Josh his imaginary friend?"  
"You know about Josh, Josh is his husband who died before he became your pop, and Tyler misses him a lot. And yes, sometimes when Tyler is poorly he sees Josh."  
"Is it a hallucination?"  
"That's exactly what it is." Todd nodded. "But listen to me Will, he's got lots of people helping him to get better. Nanny Kelly and Grandpa Chris are looking after him and the doctors are helping too."  
"Why did he shout when Nanny Kelly tried to help then?"  
"Your pop's illness prevented him from knowing what was best for him. Just like you have had to do things you didn't want to but we knew were good for you. Sometimes when a person is ill, other people need to decide what is best for them."  
"Oh,"  
"Tyler still loves you lots and lots William,"  
"Mmm," William hummed, still trying to get his head around it all.

"Nanny Kelly told me you did an amazing job and you are so so brave, and I'm so proud of you kid."  
"Why, why did she make me hide?" He asked nervously.  
"You weren't hiding Will, she just thought it best to give you some space away from Ty."  
"He, he, he was going to hurt me, wasn't he?" William whispered, suddenly beginning to cry again. Todd laid flat and beckoned his son close to him, then wrapped an arm around him as he cuddled himself against his dad's chest. As Todd's top was sprinkled with tears, he squeezed William tightly.

"William I need you to understand that Tyler would never ever want to hurt you, okay? He's been your pop for 6 years and he has never hurt you, has he?" Todd whispered into William's hair, and the boy shook his head. "And I promise that he will never hurt you when he's healthy, and he's healthy almost all the time. However, I can't guarantee the same when he's poorly - I wish I could, trust me I wish I could, but I want to be honest with you William because you're my son and I know you can handle the truth. William, sometimes Tyler lashes out when he's sick. It's not because he doesn't like you or he wants to hurt you or that you've done anything wrong; he's just scared. He's bigger and stronger than you, and I think Nanny Kelly was just scared that Tyler might accidentally injure you. William we all just want you to be okay, and sometimes that means getting yourself into another room and away from him until he's feeling better."

"I was scared Dad, I didn't know what to do,"  
"You did exactly the right thing. You called Dad, you called Nanny Kelly, and you went to your bedroom. And William? If it ever happens again, I really hope that it won't, but if it happens again then you do the exact same thing. If I don't answer my phone then you call Victoria, my assistant, and you tell her it's urgent. First go to your bedroom, then call Nanny, then call me or Victoria."  
"O-okay I will," he nodded shakily.

"Dad?"  
"Yeah?"  
"If it happens again, how, how do I make it better? How do I make Pop better?"  
"You can't William. I can't either, none of us can make his hallucinations go away, it's just about keeping him safe until they stop on their own. But William, I don't want you to do that, I don't want you to try and look after Pop yourself. Remember what I said? He can lash out. I love him but I love you too, and I absolutely do not want you getting hurt in any way."

"I tried to hug him, is that helpful?"  
"William I need you to listen to me, okay kid? I think that it's so noble and honourable of you to want to help your pop, and I'm so proud of you for that, but I need you to promise me that you will go in another room if Pop gets sick again."  
"Why?"  
"Because I worry William. I'm not trying to scare you, I'm really not; I want to be optimistic and tell you that Tyler will be able to control himself, but I also need to be realistic. Tyler broke my rib last year. He didn't mean to, he was sick and scared and I got too close. I'm a 6ft 1 200lbs bodybuilder, imagine what could happen to you William. You're my boy, and, and I don't want to put you in any danger."  
"If Tyler's dangerous why do you leave me with him?" William suddenly began to cry again.

"Oh William, I'm sorry, Dad said the wrong thing," Todd sighed, kissing his son on the top of his head and hugging him tight. "Tyler's not dangerous, he's your papa and he takes amazing care of you and he loves you so so much and I trust him Will. He's looked after you everyday for the last 6 years, and I know you love him a lot too."  
"I do," he cried.  
"And I also know that today was absolutely terrifying,"  
"Ye-ah," William agreed as he tried and failed to stop the sobs.  
"I know that it's very scary to find out that your papa's sick, and I understand that you are probably really worried about him."  
"Yeh,"  
"But I also want you to know that things are going to be okay. Papa Ty will come home soon and things will go back to normal I promise. And you need to know that I am so proud of you today William, even more than usual. You did amazing."  
"Tha-ank, you,"  
"If you ever have any questions at all about Pop or his illness then he will answer them, or Nanny or I will too."  
"O-kay,"

"Shall we call him on my phone? Would you like that?"  
"Y-yeah," he nodded.  
"Okay we will, but it's quite late. If he answers then you can talk to him for a little while, and then you need to get ready for bed and let Dad talk to him too."  
"Can, can I sleep in your bed tonight please?"  
"Yeah of course you can, but I might be on the phone to Pop for a couple of hours, will you be able to sleep through it?"  
"Uh huh," William nodded, then rolled off his dad's chest and sitting up against the headboard, letting him get his phone from the table. With a shaky sigh, he wiped away the last remaining tears from his cheeks.

"What, um, what do you talk about for so long?" William asked as Todd climbed back next to him.  
"Anything and everything; about our day, about what's on our mind, what things we've been thinking about, where we wanna take you on our next road trip, whether we should let Isabel wear high heels yet, our favourite Olympic sports, what to get you for Christmas,"  
"It's April," he laughed.  
"Hey you can never be too prepared," Todd smiled back, "it doesn't matter what we talk about, we just like to listen to each other talk. You'll understand when you fall in love one day."

"Do you love Tyler?"  
"With all my heart," Todd nodded.  
"Do you love my mom?"  
"Your mom will always be very special to me because she gave me you, and you're the best thing to have ever happened to me. I love your mom for that, but no, I don't love her like I love Tyler."  
"Did you ever love her?"  
"Honestly? No." He told William. "Do you want to talk about your mom? We can if you want."  
"No, I want to talk to Papa Ty. He's important to me, Angela's not."  
"Okay kiddo," Todd listened, then unlocked his phone and began scrolling. "That's because girls are gross by the way, boys are the best, stay away from girls," he joked quietly without looking up.  
"Isabel's my best friend and she's a girl,"  
"That's very sweet William," Todd genuinely smiled as he brought the device up to his ear and waited for it to connect. "Go on, go brush your teeth whilst I have a little word with Ty. Oh, and I put your toothbrush in the downstairs bathroom because I could have missed a glass mirror shard upstairs when I cleaned it up."  
"Ok,"

William shuffled off his two dads' bed and walked out of the room, not looking at the hall where he had cried as he hurried down the stairs. The downstairs toilet was next to the bottom of the staircase so he quickly saw where his dad had put his and Isabel's toothbrushes for them.

As he ran it under the tap and squeezed toothpaste onto the bristles, he looked at himself in the mirror. His face was puffy from crying, eyes bloodshot, hair dishevelled. But he sighed and began brushing. Tyler had schizophrenia. His pop had schizophrenia - or at least something similar, he couldn't remember the name, but he knew it was bad.

He remembered when he had gone into town with Dre's big brother and his friends, and they had seen a homeless man muttering to himself in the streets. He remembered the older boys calling him names, schizo freak. He remembered them throwing stones to scare him. He remembered standing back and doing nothing to stop them. What if that had been his pop?

William spat into the sink, then continued to brush.

Pop wasn't a 'schizo freak', he was William's right hand man, partner in crime, his accomplice. They had fun together but they also had a lot of serious conversations too and William suddenly became scared that Tyler wasn't being honest with him when they had their late night chats.

But as William rinsed his brush under the running water, he calmed himself down again. Yes Tyler and Dad kept some things from him, but he understood why. Tyler was sick and he didn't want to scare William, and he was grateful for that. Because he wouldn't lie to himself, he was scared by it. Tyler wouldn't want to frighten or upset him because he loved him - even though he was sick, he was still trying to protect him. And that's why William loved him too.

Looking forward to the idea of hearing his pop's voice, he climbed back up the stairs quickly and went into the bedroom. His dad was laying down, phone to his ear and smile on his face. William was used to the lovey-dovey expression, and instantly knew that Tyler had answered.

"Yeah I'm the same," Todd said to the phone, then turned to face William. He held out a hand and William took it, then let his dad pull him down onto the bed next to him. "Ty, William's back. Yeah, yeah of course, okay one sec,"  
"Does he want to talk to me?" William whispered, and Todd nodded and held out the phone for him to take.

"Pop?"  
"Hey little man, I heard you've stolen my side of the bed?" Tyler said as William laid down, smiling at the sound of his voice.  
"Yeah,"  
"That's alright but you have to look after Dad okay? He's scared of the dark. And don't forget to check under the bed for monsters for him,"  
"Okay I will," he smiled sadly, missing his pop already. "But you're coming home soon, aren't you? To, uh, to check for monsters."  
"Yeah I'll be back really soon William,"  
"Will you be here when I come home from school tomorrow?"  
"Hopefully," Tyler told him.

"But I'm having a sleepover with Nanny Kelly tonight, maybe tomorrow too; at the moment we're watching Guardians of the Galaxy with Grandpa Chris."  
"S'my favourite," William told him softly.  
"I know it is little man, that's why I chose it, makes me think of you," he said, and William felt himself welling up a little.

"William,"  
"Yes Pop?"  
"Thank you," Tyler said, filled with emotion and meaning.  
"For what?"  
"Earlier, you offered to hug me, thank you,"  
"It's okay,"  
"It's not, Will, it's not okay. I upset you and I'm sorry."  
"Are you feeling better?" William asked.  
"Yes much much better, I'm mostly back to normal now, thank you for asking."

"Dad explained to you that I'm sick, didn't he?"  
"Yeah," William whispered quietly.  
"I'm ill William, my head, it doesn't work the same way as yours does. And sometimes I imagine things, scary things, but I think they're real."  
"Yeah," he listened.  
"It doesn't happen very often. When I was younger, before you were born, it would happen almost every day. And today's was the first time this year,"  
"So you're getting better?"  
"Yes, I'm getting better," Tyler told his stepson, making him smile.  
"Good, I don't like you being sick,"  
"Was it frightening? Seeing me struggling?"  
"Yeah, but uh, I don't like you being scared Pop, because, because you're my pop and I want you to be happy and I love you," William said honestly.  
"You trying to make me cry Will?" Tyler remarked, and William laughed a little before biting his lip. "I love you too little man, more than anything in the whole world."

"William, almost bedtime," Todd told him.  
"Pop, Dad says I have to go soon,"  
"Ask Dad nicely for 2 extra minutes," Tyler said.  
"Dad, Pop says 2 more minutes please," William said to his father next to him.  
"Go on then," he smiled.  
"He says that's okay," the young boy told his stepdad.

"I think Dad's jealous William. He thought he was the only man in my heart, but shh, don't tell him, you're my favourite."  
"Same, you're mine too." William laughed.  
"Shhh, our little secret."  
"Okay,"  
"Will, talking about secrets, I'm sorry that I kept it a secret that I get sick sometimes. But I promise, I promise, that it's the only secret I've ever kept from you and will ever keep from you. There's some more things about my mental health that we haven't explained to you yet, but I'm not keeping it a secret. If you ever have any questions about anything then I will always answer you with 100% honesty and openness. Do you believe me?"  
"Yes,"  
"I want you to feel comfortable asking me any sort of question, and for you to trust that I'll answer as truthfully as I possibly can."  
"I do,"  
"Good. When I come home from my sleepover at Nanny and Grandpa's then we're gonna build a bonfire at the bottom of the garden and toast marshmallows and talk about everything."  
"Like we do when we talk about Josh?"  
"Exactly like that." Tyler told him. "We're gonna have to invite boring old Dad and Issy for one smore each, then we'll send them inside and have William-Tyler time."  
"That'll be good, thank you,"  
"I'm looking forward to it too."

"Pop, I have a question now,"  
"Okay hit me,"  
"Why are you staying with Nanny Kelly and Chris if you're feeling okay again?"  
"Remember what I said earlier? I'm mostly back to normal, but not all the way. You know when you wake up from a nightmare and you still feel scared and shaky even though it's finished?"  
"Yeh,"  
"Yeah it's a bit like that for me. My scary thing, my hallucination, it's finished now but I still feel a little bit nervous and panicky. And when I feel panicky William, I sometimes get things called panic attacks - do you know what they are?"  
"Yeah, Kim in my class gets them."  
"They're nasty, really nasty, so of course I don't want to have one. But another reason I don't want to have one is because sometimes it can mean I get sick and see things again."  
"Oh,"

"So to stop that happening, I come and stay with my mom and dad. They've been looking after me, calming me down, for 20 years. They know what is soothing and what I find worrying or might upset me, and they can do an amazing job of keeping me safe. Now William, your dad looks after me amazingly too, but it's just a bit more relaxing for me here with my parents."  
"Yeah,"  
"Little things like pouring Cheerios for two stinky kids, it's one of my favourite things to do because I love my family so so much, but when I'm sick it's too much pressure for me. Do you understand that?"  
"I think so,"

"And if I'm sick again during the night or tomorrow then Nanny Kelly and Chris can look after me all day for as many days as I need. When I'm sick I shouldn't be alone you see. Your dad has to work, you two have school; and it's just better for me to stay in one place rather than have to travel here because that can make me panicky,"  
"Which can make you ill," William concluded.  
"Precisely. William I will come home soon, I miss you a lot kid, but I want to make sure that I'm 100% calm before then."

"William, you've got school tomorrow, time to get some sleep and say goodnight to Papa Ty. You can speak to him again in the morning but that's enough for tonight," Todd told his son.  
"Pop I've got to go, I miss you lots and lots but don't rush home. I'll see you as soon as you're ready."  
"I miss you too kid, but thank you for looking after me today and for talking to me. Oh and don't forget to check for monsters for Dad,"  
"I won't,"  
"Sleep well, I love you,"  
"I love you too. Night,"

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back from the dead! Took a little break to focus on my mental health, but I'm back now so lots of updates coming soon xx


End file.
